Tuesday 12 January 2016

 my father, he lives in Middle East. Didn't come after he shifted there. Didn't talk about coming here to visit or anything. Sometimes after 4/5 months he sends some money to his parents but there is nothing to be surprised that we get that money. but mom managed by doing a job in school and giving tuitions. 
Mom and Dad were lover in college. They both married without the permission of their parents. But both used to love each other a lot. But they got separated from their family after the marriage. Mom was 23 when i bron. And after some months Dad got a job in a Middle east company. We heard that Dad’s parents managed to get the job for him. But Mom never believed it. She keep loving him so much that sometimes i can't believe that. And whatever my Dad say to mom, she keeps believing. 
By the time i grow up, i understand that Dad is cheating on mom.
Now let's come to my mom. She keeps doing whatever my dad likes. She keeps herself simple. Always wear saree. And her most gorgeous asset is her hair. Her hair is almost her knee length. She never had it cut, not even trim but she manages herself to keep her hair healthy and let it grow. Many times her colleagues, even me asked her to cut her hair or just trim it regularly but she refuses. Nobody can make her understand. For this type of stubborn behaviour mom has a reason. The reason is-
Dad loves long hair. In their relation in college time Dad never let mom to cut her hair. Mom once had her haircut short, due to my birth and her hair got damaged that time. Dad called a barber in home and convinced my mom to get a short haircut. Only once that time mom had a haircut. After that mom is keeping her hair long. She sometimes used to trim but for last 5 years she hasn't thought about getting a haircut, not even 1 cm. 
Mom keeps believing that dad will return(he said that to mom). And she keeps believing. My grandparents or any relative of dad’s side never visited us. Or tried to contact us. Mom never had a complain about this. She was quite happy in her believe. While talking to dad sometimes we found woman’s voice. But dad always shows an excuse and as always mom believed. Some i tried to tell mom about it but she shows me an angry face. Although i just left the topic because of mom’s happiness.
I always remembered mom’s birthday and always try to give her a gift. It was her 40th birthday. Mom was waiting for Dad’s call but that day he didn't give a single text. After 3 days he called and mom reminds him about her birthday. Then dad remembers it and wished her. he said that he was too busy with work. and mom believes it.
Suddenly one day after mom’s birthday both my grandparents came to our house. Mom was so surprised and happy about it. But she didn't complain anything to them. She started to make them food, she was in dilemma what to do or not. They didn't even ask me about my study or how was we doing. 
Then they come to their business, They said they have something important to say. It's about my dad. mom was so frightened and feared. They handed mom some paper and put an envelope on the table. I take the envelope and opened it. and mom with shivering hand take the papers in hand. There was some pics in the envelop. it was dad’s and his family’s in the middle east. i was feeling like the sky has fallen off but my assumptions was clear. So i controlled myself easily. But my mom? With her shivering eyes she started looking at the papers. I saw tears rolling down from her eyes. She couldn't talk, couldn't even told me or look at me. My grandparents said that it is best for us to live like our own. And he will not call anymore. He wants her to sign in that paper as soon as possible and hand it to over them. He is sorry for this. Mom broke her silence by herself. she asked me what is in the envelop. I handed the envelope to her. she looked at it and silently put them on the table. She told me to give her a pen. But the bastard grandfather of mine gave her a pen. she took it and signed on the divorce paper. 
After they have gone Mom just sit for there for sometimes, silently, i asked her several times. did not answer. Then she went to kitchen and finished the cooking. at the table mom just have some food, silently, looking at the table herself. no talks. I know she predicted this would have come to us. But she kept believing. After the lunch she went to bed, i was fearing about suicide she might commit. so i went to her room and laid beside her. i saw mom was still silent. after sometimes i fell as sleep. when i woke up i didn't see mom beside me, I quickly rushed to other rooms. In the sofa i saw mom was looking at the pictures that my grandparents brought. she keeps looking and smiling.
Me: Mom??
Mom: look, how happy your father is. he was this happy at the time of our marriage.
Me: mom forget those now. why you are having those pic?
Mom: Look, his wife has long hair also. Look at his daughters. They have long hair also.
Me: mom, come on now.
I sat beside mom, put my hands on her shoulder. Mom just put her head on my shoulder and started crying loudly. Mom was just keeping her cry and grieve so tight. she couldn't hold it anymore. Mom keep crying for 25 min i guess and i keep consoling her saying: you lived without him all these years, you could live now. i am grown up, you have a good job. our live will be going like before. after sometime mom stops crying. because she remembered she have to give me afternoon snacks. 
when she tried to stand up her loose bun get opened, all her silky black mane coming down like waterfall. As i am a hair fetish i enjoyed the view mostly. while mom was gathering all her hair again in a bun she slowed down a bit and thought something. but she went to kitchen. brought me snacks. while i was eating mom said: “i have something to tell you, all these years i have been waiting for your dad, but he betrayed me at last.”
me: so mom??
mom: i have been keeping long hairs for him. as he is not any part of our lives this hair is going to remind him.
me: what you want mom??
mom: i don't him anymore. near us. or in our mind. i want to cut off my hair.
me: shockingly said mom what are you talking about?? you loves your hair. so why now? for him?
mom: i kept my long hair for him. to make him happy. but what he did all these year? so i don't like to keep this hair. these were for his.
me: i don't know mom, it is your choise, but think first.
after that i went to my room for studying because i had an exam next day. many times i have noticed that mom was in her room, crying silently. gathering dad’s all memories, photos etc. I thought mom couldn't handle it but she did. she manages herself. May be she was ready for this from very long. Next day morning after having breakfast i went to college, and dropped mom to her school. She seems normal. after college i went to home. as usual find mom was in kitchen.
suddenly mom called me. i went to her.
Mom: son you remember what i had told you last day?
Me: about what mom/ your hair?
mom: yes. i have decided something.
me: mom keep your hair, why you going to cut for him?
Mom: no son, whenever i go to make bun or comb my hair, it reminded him. i can't bear that pain anymore.
i find tear in mom’s eyes. it is true she is in pain. but she is my mom. i have to something. 
me: mom it is your choice. but honestly maybe you should get your haircut.
mom: yes son. but i don't have that much courage to go to beauty parlor.
me: no mom they are gonna sell your hair for money. but we can sell your hair. so you don't have to go to parlor.
mom seems little puzzled. i had something stuck in my mind. so i told mom finish the cooking then come to my room. after half an hour mom came to my room, sat on my bed relaxed. she saw me getting a chair for her. i placed the chair and told mom to come here and sit. Mom again was puzzled. I went to her and hold her hands and make her sit on the chair. Mom asked what is it for? me: you will see, but don't ask anything till i said. mom: ok.
i arranged everything before mom came. i take cloth and then wrap it around mom's neck and cover her body. Mom seriously shocked and had her big eyes on me. I just smiled and told mom that, “you are afraid of going to salon for haircut but i have arranged a home salon for you. so that you feel comfortable”
Mom: but how did you? you know cutting hair ?? mom asked me with puzzled voice.
“yes mom, just let me do my job” mom didn't say anything. she just sat with her puzzled and curious eyes.
her hair was in bun, so i removed the clip and opened her bun. i just saw a water flow for the last time. her soft silky mane was in my hand for the first and last time. i took a comb and started to comb rightway. from start to end. keep combing her long hair which almost touching the floor now. then i take the water sprayer for our plants from the balcony and started spraying water on her hair. mom was still in dilemma, puzzled and whatever confusing thing in the world she had. after that i combed again moms hair. and this time i take a rubber band and tie her hair below shoulders. i didnt ask anything and mom didn't say anything to me. she just closed her eyes. i take the scissor in my hand and placed it on the rubber band. without asking her i started snipping. crack craaaccchhh craaaccchh sound was coming. and mom’s beautiful mane was getting loose. all these years she kept it for him. but now she is loosing it. i saw tears coming from mom’s eyes. she was shivering with every snip. i keep cutting, craacchh craaacchh……. and her pony fall on the floor at the last snip. mom was looking so cute in short hair, along with a cape that covers her body. when she realised that her hair is finished cutting she cried out loud. i went and hugged her tightly. trying to console her. but kept crying. she manages herself and ask me to look at her pony. i brought it to her and she smiled looking at it. then i take it from her and placed it on my bed and again combed her hair. She was in double shock when i started cutting her hair hair. mom:”are you cutting more shot??” 
me: no mom just for shaping. you will like it. and mom kept silent again.
i keep cutting her hair little by little till it comes to u shape. then removed the cloth from moms body i released her. mom hurried towards the mirror. she was with open mouth. couldnt move her hands to her hair. but she was looking cute. i went to her and take her hands to her hair. said, ‘feel it mom, your new haircut. removing the old memories.’’ Mom was in tear’s again but this time she hugged me. i also hugged her. 
she again comes to my room after sometimes. i was playing with her pony. mom came and took it to her hand. see it wiith surprise. i told mom, ‘’ mom there is a hair buyer in the salon where i have my haircuts’ we can sell it there. mom said, ‘’ i dont want anyhting from it. just get rid of it.”
i said alright and i put it in a bag. everybody praised moms bold desicion and they liked it. also they knew about dad. so they praised mom

No comments:

Post a Comment